For most of my life, I lived disconnected from my body and at war with myself.

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On the surface, I was a CrossFit coach and a highly competitive athlete—strong, disciplined, driven. But beneath the surface, I was struggling with addiction, using substances to numb what I couldn't yet name or feel.

After leaving an abusive marriage, I began casually exploring expanded states of consciousness. One particularly beautiful yet destabilizing experience cracked me open in ways I wasn't prepared for. I knew immediately that I needed support, but I had no idea what that meant or where to find it.

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What followed were a number of synchronistic events that led me to Jungian Therapy. After following Jung's approach for a couple of years, my body began waking up. Intermittently my eyes began to swell with tears, my spine began pulsing like a heartbeat, and my heart ached as if someone had it clenched in their fist. I had absolutely no understanding of what was happening. I couldn't connect my tears to an emotion and I didn't understand why they were pouring down my face. I didn't know how to soothe my heartache and my pulsing spine increased along with my psychological distress. I eventually found my way into somatic healing circles, and then somatic therapy itself.

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At first, I was confused by how much I couldn't feel compared to what others were expressing in these somatic circles and courses. While in many ways my internal world was louder than it had ever been, when I would intentionally look inside, I saw nothing, and I felt nothing, at least at first. Occasionally I did begin to feel something, but when I did all I could feel was tightness. I didn't have the language, awareness, or capacity to be with what was underneath my skin. I quickly realized that my body held a story far beyond what my mind could grasp—and I had been completely disconnected from it.

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If I wanted real transformation and lasting change, I would need to learn to listen, trust, and allow the wisdom of my body to unfold in its own time and guide my healing.

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It's been five years since that initial experience. Five years of unlearning, learning, embodying, descending, ascending, expanding, contracting, and integrating. Five years of discovering what it means to come home to myself, and the rest of whatever life I have ahead of me to continue on that path.

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I walk alongside others with deep gratitude and reverence for the journey.